February 12, 2016

12 Strip Clubs With Hilarious Names

Nudie Ba—er, I mean, Gentlemen’s Clubs—are a dime a dozen. So to make a splash in their local adult entertainment markets, ambitious flesh peddlers have to do something to set their semi- to entirely-nude economic ventures apart from the rest. And one of the best ways of doing this is to come up with a creative name, something people will remember. Thus we present to you 12 Hilarious Strip Club Names. We’ll leave it to you to judge whether the names are funny on purpose or not.

12. Nana Entertainment Plaza – Bangkok, Thailand

This isn’t just a strip club, it’s an adult “complex.” And it’s named after your cute nickname for grandma.

11. The Lumber Yard – Des Moines, IA

Slogan: “Where real men go for wood.” And no, apparently this is not a gay bar. The beaver is a nice touch.

10. Chix on Dix – Detroit, MI

Don’t worry. It’s not vulgar. The club is located on South Dix Street, Detroit, MI. Get it? Ugh.

9. Volcanic Eruptions – Mays Landing, NJ

I don’t get it. Chances are, I don’t want to.

8. Liquid Assets – South Plainfield, NJ

General rule of thumb for strip club entrepreneurs: putting “ass” and “liquid” together is never sexy.

7. Great Alaskan Bush Company – Phoenix, AZ

This is a time-honored, tried and true formula for a company name: Great (insert location) (insert product) Company. Turns out to be no less true for strip clubs.

6. IV Play Cabaret – Springfield, MO

When considering names for your strip club, try to avoid being so clever that it backfires. Case in point: IV (Four) Play, which could understandably be construed as some kind of kinky drug-using bar.

5. Beef Baron – London, ON

The “beef” part I get. Not so sure about the “baron.” I mean, are you, the patron, the baron? Or is someone else the baron? Because I’m not so crazy about that. Perhaps “Beef Baroness” would be less disconcerting.

4. Art’s Performing Center – Milwaukee, WI

The only question I have is, can you write off money spent there as a “charitable donation” come tax season?

3. Leave It To Beavers – Rock Glen, PA

How are there not more places with this name?

2. Gentlemans Day Care – Columbus, NJ

For sure an all-time classic. Manages to be euphemistic and straightforward at the same time.

1. Ragtime – West Paterson, NJ

Apparently this this place is closed now. I wonder why.