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July 31, 2014

14 Crazy-Ass Hairdos

A hairdo can say a lot about a person. With just a couple swipes of a comb you can alter the impression people have of you. Of course, most of us just play it safe and go with something basic, which says “hey, if you want to know more about me you’re gonna have to check out my shoes, and if that doesn’t work, maybe just strike up a conversation. Sorry for the inconvenience.” On the other end of the spectrum, some of us like to take hair communication up a notch, basically saying “CHECK ME OUT MOTHERF*#@$R, YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THIS?!?!” And these are the people we’re interested in here, the ones who want you to see their hair and think they must be totally rad. So here you go: 14 Crazy Hairdos.

14. The Wicker Head

When this funky hairdo pops up in internet searches, it’s usually referred to as a disco ball haircut. Personally, I think it looks more like this dude passed out on a wicker patio lounger.

Degree of Difficulty: 3
Boldness Rating: 5
This Hairdo Screams: I may have a drinking problem, but at least my parents have comfy patio furniture to pass out on

13. Soccer Ball Head

Judging by the “2006” on the back of this guy’s head, it’s a pretty safe bet that this haircut is the result of a serious case of World Cup Fever. What’s funny, though, is that it seems the stylist made a little mistake. If you look carefully at the top right “panel” on this guy’s head, you’ll notice that it the stylist started to make it a white panel when it should probably be a dark panel.

Degree of Difficulty: 4
Boldness Rating: 5 (would be higher if this do wasn’t sported in a World Cup year)
This Hairdo Screams: hand me a 40 and pass the road flares, we’re gonna riot like genuine soccer hooligans

12. Mardi Gras Bead Coolio

Remember Coolio? He took himself so seriously for a stoner with hair sticking strait up in the air. He was really pissed when Weird Al Yankovic did that parody of Gangster’s Paradise, Amish Paradise, because Gangster’s Paradise was about “real shit.” Anyway, this kid walked into the barbershop and said “give me the Coolio, but make it look like giant Mardi Gras beads.

Degree of Difficulty: 3
Boldness Rating: 6
This Hairdo Screams: the girls think I’m weird anyway, so what the hell

11. The Judy Jetson

This hairstyle looks like something George Jetson’s daughter, Judy, might sport for a big date with the quarterback of the Orbit High spacefootball team. She would push a couple buttons on the wall, a giant helmet would fall from the ceiling, and in 3 seconds her hair would look like this.

Degree of Difficulty: 6
Boldness Rating: 7
This Hairdo Screams: my dad works at Spacely Space Sprockets

10. The Cloud-Fro

This one looks to be inspired by nature. I see a wispy low-lying cloud hovering at the top of a waterfall, which pours out from the cloud as if from the sky itself. Yes, it does seem unlikely that the hair comprising the cloud-fro is real (or belongs to the model). And it probably has some sort of structural support hidden in there. But this hairdo it theoretically possible with real hair.

Degree of Difficulty: 7
Boldness Rating: 8
This Hairdo Screams: my agent accidentally got me cast in a photo shoot for poodles

9. The Hat O’ Hair

This things could quite possibly be a prosthetic hairdo (i.e. not actually be her own hair, but a hat made out of hair). But if it is a prosthetic hairdo, and not her actual hair, would it make any more sense? I mean, seriously, for what kind of social occasion is this fitting?

Degree of Difficulty: if real, 8; if prosthetic, 5
Boldness Rating: 8
This Hairdo Screams: keep your distance, boys, I’m craaaaazy

8. The Spector-Fro

I really didn’t want to include celebrities on this list, because most often they sport nutty hairstyles just to get their pictures in magazines. However, legendary record producer Phil Spector really didn’t need anymore publicity when he decided to go with this look—he was already on trial for murder. So I interpret this not as a cry for attention but a genuine attempt to express himself.

Degree of Difficulty: 5
Boldness Rating: 8
This Hairdo Screams: come on, would someone with hair like this shoot his girlfriend? No way!

7. The Dump

This strikes me as a temporary styling, maybe the result of a bunch of frat guys sitting around drinking beers. It was probably never this guys intention to go out of the house like this. Still, it is pretty bold, though crude in both concept and execution.

Degree of Difficulty: 4
Boldness Rating: 8 (high if the photo was taken in public)
This Hairdo Screams: I’m single, ladies

6. The Punk Sunfish

Unlike the guy with a dump carved into the back of his head, this guy gets extra boldness points for going outside with this fish-fin look. If you’re wondering how the punk rocker types achieve looks like this, the answer is simple: Elmer’s glue. Really, that is how punks have made their crazy mohawks since the dawn of time (well, since the 1970s).

Degree of Difficulty: 7
Boldness Rating: 8
This Hairdo Screams: hey ladies, I too am available

5. The Punk Roman Centurion

This is just about as good as punk hair gets. In particular, have a look at how even and precisely cut that fan on the top of her head is. Also, she could have just gone with a simple mohawk, but instead went the extra mile with a few spikes on the side of the head and—to add balance and soften up the look—some bangs.

Degree of Difficulty: 8
Boldness Rating: 9
This Hairdo Screams: my parents’ names are Carl and Brenda and I grew up in the suburbs

4. The Dreadlock Rockabilly

This is a most rare hairstyle, for it combines hippy/Rastafarian grooming with a hipster’s flare for the dramatic. Usually, dreadlocks just hang there. Occasionally, they are put into a ponytail, or maybe even made into a loose nest on top of the head. But this guy actually molded his dreads into a nice rockabilly swoosh. If he happens to be bald under there, then this would officially be the best comb-over in the history of mankind.

Degree of Difficulty: 9
Boldness Rating: 9
This Hairdo Screams: for the last time, no I do not smell that

3. The Christmas Tree-Hive

You know you have Holiday Spirit when you go to the salon and say “girl, make a Christmas tree on top of my head.” While this is impressive, it would be even better if, instead of garland made out of paperclips, she figured out a way to have actual Christmas lights. Still, pretty awesome. Make you wonder what she’ll do for Easter.

Degree of Difficulty: 7
Boldness Rating: 10
This Hairdo Screams: fa la la la la, la la, la, la

2. The Face

At #2, we have a tie. Both hairdos have the same basic, totally awesome concept. But each has a unique quality that distinguishes it from the other. The one on the left is more precise and has a more excellenter mustache (can never go wrong with the classic handlebar). The one on the right, however, is just a big more lifelike, what with the backward clothes and everything.

Degree of Difficulty: 7
Boldness Rating: 10
This Hairdo Screams: why yes, I most certainly am the life of the party—how did you know?

1. The Hair-i-Copter

This is an all-time classic. You have probably even seen it before. In addition to being an amazing feat of hair architecture, this hairdo also amazes with its complete randomness. I mean, why a helicopter? Why not an airplane or, if a moving mechanism is the goal, car with moving wheels?

Degree of Difficulty: 10
Boldness Rating: 10
This Hairdo Screams: my hairdresser flunked out of aviation school