The problems we encounter with Easter Bunny costumes fall into two categories: either they look totally pissed and/or diabolical, or they try too hard to look happy and end up, you know, looking a little too happy. Every once in a while, someone will try to split the difference between these two. But the result is usually an Easter Bunny that looks physically deformed, and perhaps not right in the head.
Thus, no matter what, the lesson is clear: stop making Easter Bunny costumes. There is just no way an anthropomorphized rabbit is going to be cute. Besides, unlike Santa, who at least is a real human being (or possibly a large elf), you canâ€™t fool a kid into thinking a dude in a furry suit is an actual giant beneficent bunny rabbit. So just stop it. As long as thereâ€™s a giant basket of plastic grass and colorful high-fructose corn syrup waiting for them on Easter Sunday, kids wonâ€™t give a turd if they got to sit on the Easter Bunnyâ€™s lap.
15. Abominable Snowman Easter Bunny
Can you believe this abominable snowman-looking â€œEaster Bunnyâ€ is the least-creepy one on this list? It makes you wonder if the person who designed this costume has ever even seen a bunny. While the face really isnâ€™t too bad (because itâ€™s so furry you can barely make out its features), the long dingy fur would probably discourage me from eating any candy the bunny should happen bring.
14. Non-Bunny Bunny
I donâ€™t know what this thing looks like, but itâ€™s not an Easter Bunny. Well, I mean, it is supposed to look like an Easter Bunny, what with the pink nose, (terribly crafted) whiskers, and tall pointy ears. But this is not a realistic rendering.
13. Face Painted on Paper Plate
The fuzzy jumpsuit looks alright I guess, but that mask is terrible. It looks like something kids make on the last day of school before the Easter holiday (when the teacher gives up on trying to teach and just lets the kids eat candy and make holiday-related crafts that parents will have to display on the fridge even though theyâ€™re monstrosities).
Maybe Iâ€™m crazy (or just a nerd), but to me this Easter Bunny looks like that alien who bitches out Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi in that bar where they meet Han Solo in the original Star Wars. You know, the lizard-looking guy growls at them, and then the other alien man says, â€œHe doesnâ€™t like you. I donâ€™t like you either.â€ Then Obi-Wan cuts of the lizard dudeâ€™s arm, and everyone just chills out. My point is, it is not good for an Easter Bunny to look like that guy.
Shopping mall Easter Bunny rule #1: never, ever, without exception, are you to hold your carrot in the vicinity of your crotch in such a way that it looks like you just popped a couple Viagra. Parents hate this.
10. Bucket-Head Easter Bunny
I imagine the design of this costume went something like this: â€œHey, Sam, do bunniesâ€™ heads look like furry buckets with holes cut out for eyes and a mouth?â€ â€œSure do, Frank.â€ â€œThanks, I thought so. Just checking.â€ â€œNo problem, buddy.â€
9. Hitler Bunny on Speed
Nice going guys. You really made that Easter Bunnyâ€™s whiskers look like a Hitler mustache. Also, the yellow eyes are a nice touch. They really make this horrible creature look strung out like a kite.
8. Dog-Humper Thumper
If you take your dog to get its picture taken with the Easter Bunny, and they take a picture in which it looks like the Easter Bunny is nailing your dog…well, letâ€™s be honest, you deserve it. (The dog doesnâ€™t give a shit. His self-respect was annihilated as soon as you put those ears on him.)
7. Realistic Mask = Creepy, Not Cute
A realistic looking bunny mask should never be used for an Easter Bunny costume (let alone with a Pepto Bismol-pink jumpsuit). Weâ€™re talking about a magical bunny who hands out chocolate versions of himself for children to eat. Realism isnâ€™t the goal. Go ahead and make the bunny look cartoonish, okay?
6. Vintage Easter Bunny #1
Back in the olden days, children were tougher than they are now. They had to read books instead of playing video games, they often had to kill their own supper every day, they had to milk the cows every morning before walking to school up-hill both ways, etc. This probably explains why this child isnâ€™t afraid of this terrifying bunny-man. In fact, she seems quite pleased to be on this Easter Bunnyâ€™s lap and not dead from polio.
5. Vintage Easter Bunny #2
The whiskers on this Easter Bunny look like catfish whiskers. Not good.
4. Genetically Challenged Bunny
This messed-up bunny looks like his mom and dad were brother and sister. The kid is like, â€œget me the hell off this abomination!â€
3. Pink and White Bunny of Torment
Just because you give an Easter Bunny costume pink satin ears and big fuzzy paws, that doesnâ€™t mean you give it evil eyes and scary digit-gnawing teeth. The kid is pretty cute, though, and she looks only partially confused by her current predicament.
2. Pink Bunny of Agony
The problem with this costume, in addition to the pointy devil-horn ears, the unnaturally crimson red nose, and the fact that itâ€™s facial expression clearly gives the impression the bunny is hatching an evil plot…well, wait, thatâ€™s pretty much all the problems with this costume.
1. White Bunny of Unimaginable Suffering
This is the creepiest, most nefarious-looking Easter Bunny of them all. Who would make such a sinister bunny getup? And, really, the worst part is that this poor little girl is sadly oblivious to her impending doom.