(Also: check out 15 Awesome Examples of Creative Dog Grooming!)
People love their dogs. And to an extent, this is understandable. After all, for millennia the species canis famliaris has been selectively bred by the species homo sapiens to be the perfect companionâ€”protective, loyal, and affectionate. Along the way, I think a little of this selective breeding rubbed off on people, too, so that now itâ€™s our nature to return the affection dogs have for us. That being said, itâ€™s one thing to be fond of dogs, and itâ€™s another thing to be so crazy about your dog that you dress it up in elaborate costumes. While I admit that my own pooch has suffered the indignity of sporting a costume from time to time, the poor guy has never had to endure the kind of humiliation some dogs experience on a regular basis. The following list of 13 Hilarious Dog Costumes runs the gamet of dog costumery. From simple and fun to ornate and bizarre, thereâ€™s a little bit of everything. So, enjoy.
13. King oâ€™ the Jungle
To get things started, hereâ€™s a photo of a pit bull terrier posing as the king of the jungle. I know what youâ€™re thinking: dude, lions donâ€™t live in jungles, they live on the Serengeti. But hey, Iâ€™m not in charge of making up colloquial expressions, so cut me some slack. In any case, you have to admit this costume is pretty cute.
12. A Knight and His Steed
Well, hereâ€™s one way to make a Chihuahua seem dignified: put a chivalrous knight on his back. Sure, itâ€™s not a real knight, but when compared to the usual behavior of these little dogs (high pitched yapping or, occasionally, cowering in terror when the wind blows), transporting even a fake member of the round table seems noble.
11. Buddy the Elf
As you will see as you move down this list, this type of dog costume is becoming quite popular. Here we have a dog posing as an elf from the appropriately titled Will Ferrell movie, Elf. I like this movie. But I like lots of movies, and I donâ€™t dress my dog up as characters from all of them.
10. Three-Headed Chihuahua
You may think this is a simple, store-bought costume. But notice that the two fake heads look just like the actual dog (and also that they are a little rough around the edges). Obviously, this getup is a custom job, which means someone has way too much time on his or her hands. Hopefully the owner at least won some kind of contest, maybe got a lifetime supply of dog foodâ€¦something.
Here are a couple more costumes that make the front of the dog look like an upright human with a dogâ€™s head. Itâ€™s kind of cute to see dogs looking like proper humans (since so many donâ€™t understand theyâ€™re not human anyway), but I find this style of costume to be a little creepy. In this case particular case, we have Batdog and Superdog. Judging by their sitting positions and keen stares, the owner of these Labrador retrievers is probably just off camera bribing them with treats.
8. Headless Horseman
Hereâ€™s another dog-pretending-to-be-horse costume, and this one takes it up a notch. Unfortunately, itâ€™s a notch too far in my opinion. I mean, really, do you think this dog enjoys having a freaking harness on its face? No. But I guess sometimes you just feel like dressing your dog up like a character from a Washington Irving short story.
7. Fast Food Collies
Collies are some of the smartest, most loyal, and most regal dogs around. Hell, Lassie was a Collie. So the question is, what kind of person gets a pack of beautiful Collies just to humiliate these proud animals by dressing them up as Whoppers, French fries, and donuts? (Whoever it is probably needs to lose a few pounds, as they obviously have an unhealthy love of such foods.)
6. Dueling Doggie Yodas
I guess we should add this costume to the list of weird Yoda fan art. Obviously, the owners of these dogs are major nerds (and I donâ€™t mean that in a negative way; some of my closest friends are major nerds). The only question is, who wore it better, the Cockapoo or the Pug? I say pug. His wrinkly face more closely resembles that of the real Yoda.
This pooch appears to be a Bedlington Terrier. Believe it or not, this camel haircut isnâ€™t that far off from the standard haircut for this breed. They usually have an especially poofy patch of hair on the bridge of their snout, as well as little poofs of fur hanging at the tips of the ears and tail. However, they do not usually have humps on their backs and harnesses on their faces.
Ridiculous. This poor little dog is just thinking, â€œWhat in the everliving hell is going on? Quick, someone get this shit off me!â€ On the other hand, the owner is probably thinking, â€œOooooo how adoooooorable! Paying $300 for that custom dog wetsuit was toooootally worth it!â€
3. Sarah Palin Chihuahua
I see a pattern here that tells me people who own Chihuahuas are not right in the head. As for this costume, Iâ€™m not sure if this counts as tribute to or disparagement of Sarah Palin. But I like it. A lot. Who would have thought you could make a dog look so much like a woman as beautiful as the former half-Governor of Alaska?
2. Painted Pooches
If you always wanted to have an exotic animal like a Tiger or a Panda as a pet, but youâ€™re not some eccentric rich person like Richard Branson, hereâ€™s the solution: just get a dog and have it painted like the exotic animal of choice. Of course, like the gay son of an ex-Marine or the brainy daughter of an ex-beauty queen, thereâ€™s no way these poor dogs can live up to their ownerâ€™s expectations.
1. Alligator Attack
This costume comes in at #1 because it manages to be elaborate but funny, extravagant but not simultaneously pathetic and depressing. You cannot say the same thing about many of the crazy dog costumes on this list. So, good work, dude who came up with this alligator-ate-my-beagle costume.