February 14, 2016

9 Insane Superyachts

Wealth is a funny thing. It’s entirely relative. For example, I feel pretty wealthy sometimes. I go out to eat fairly often, I have some nice things, I live in a decent neighborhood near the water, etc. You know, pretty okay stuff. But then I take the dog for a walk, passing the marina down the street and its 20 or 30 small yachts, and I think, “now those people are wealthy.” But the thing is, they’re not. There’s a whole other class of superrich people way above them. And these superrich people have awesome superyachts that make the ones in my neighborhood look like rowboats. So I made this list of 9 Insane Superyachts to help me remember—whenever I walk by the rich people hanging out on their yachts in my neighborhood—they’re not so special. (Also, these superyachts are pretty cool.)

9. Superyacht SOIREE

This sleek number was built by ISA Yachts, with interior and exterior design by Andrea Vallicelli. It’s 37m long, sleeps up to 10, and is equipped with 2 jet skis and a ski boat, among other water toys. It’s available for charter, if you’re interested. However, the website doesn’t list a price. Then again, as the old saying goes, “if you have to ask…”


8. Lazarra LSX 92 Mega Yacht

Here’s one for the low-to-mid super-rich on a bit of a budget. Just because you got bilked by Bernie Madoff, that doesn’t mean you have to live like an animal. So check out the Lazarra LSX 92, a 92ft yacht that maybe doesn’t have a swimming pool, but is still pretty okay. Besides the stunning design, this boat’s best features are its flip-down balcony off the main master cabin and a garage that fits a jet ski and a dingy, but also can transform into a spacious a teak swim deck with a retractable TV wall.


7. KaiserWerft M/Y Catwalk

Okay, now we’re getting serious. You know you’re about to see a pretty insane yacht when it’s promotional youtube video starts off like a Hollywood blockbuster. Once again, no word on how much this yacht will set you back. I’m sensing a pattern, here.

6. Stand Craft 122

Something tells me this yacht will appeal to hip-hop moguls. Maybe it’s the matching super car that comes with it. Or the 52 in TVs. Or the Bang & Olufsen sound system in every room. This yacht is right out of a rap video. Also, this one actually has a price tag, which will appeal to rappers, since the most important thing to them is that everyone knows precisely how rich and successful they are. Only problem is, that price tag is $24 million, and Standcraft is only making 6. Sorry, Flo Rida.


5. The Oculus

This 250 ft yacht doesn’t actually exist…yet. When they finally make one, I’ll come back and update this list accordingly. (No, I won’t.) Anyway, what makes this yacht so spectacular, obviously, is its design, both exterior and interior. The exterior has a kind of M.C. Escheresqe quality, as it looks different from different angles. From the front, the Oculus looks like a Killer Whale. From the rear, however, it looks like a snapper (or some other type of fish). Pretty awesome, no?


4. Andrei Igorewitsch Melnitschenko’s Sigma SF99

This one would probably rank higher on this list if there were footage or photographs of the interior. But I’m sure it’s pretty deluxe. It’s owned by Russian billionaire Andrei Igorewitsch Melnitschenko, who named it simply A after his wife Alexandra. Looks a little like a surface submarine, doesn’t it?


3. 118 WallyPower

I know this is a crappy video. In fact, it’s not a video. It’s a slideshow. With a terrible rap song sampling “Bittersweet Symphony.” I’m sorry. But still, how awesome is this yacht? It has its own Wikipedia entry, that’s how awesome. Maybe you saw it in the Scarlett Johansson–Ewan McGregor movie The Island. Its hull was smoke- and wind-tested in the Ferrari Wind Tunnel Facility in Italy, so it has a top speed of 70 mph (60 knots). Also, it looks like it belongs in a museum. So save your allowance, kids. This one goes for around $33 million.


2. Lurssen Yacht Kismet

Ridiculous. No expense was spared in the construction this yacht: granite floors, gold fixtures, original murals, movie theater, glass elevator, gym, library, walk-in closets, bar, formal dining room, private balconies, wave runners, kayaks, water skis, scuba equipment. Given that it has a price tag of $137 million and probably costs upwards of $10 million a year to maintain (what with staff, fuel, taxes, and mechanical upkeep), even the richest of the rich would have to charter this yacht 6 months a year just to avoid losing money on it.


1. WHY

WHY is the result of a collaboration between French luxury brand Hermès and Monaco-based yacht makers Wally. The concept is for the WHY yacht to be a moving island, capturing and combining the luxuriousness and stability of an island villa, the freedom of a yacht, and the peacefulness of the open seas. On top of all this, the WHY is a green yacht utilizing the latest sustainability technologies. Unfortunately, they haven’t built one of these yachts yet. But they’re coming.