Are you looking for a great way to impress important people in your lifeâ€”people like your boss, your significant other, your parole officer? Well, study this list carefully, my friend. If you learn how to properly use all 12 of these weird words youâ€™ll never need to call a locksmith ever againâ€”because youâ€™ll have the key to success! I learned them all, and now just look at me! Iâ€™m the richest and most famous writer on the internet. And why wouldnâ€™t I be? Everyone loves dudes who use large obscure words. Am I right? So, without further ado, check out this lexicographic masterpiece.
Definition: (adjective) characterized by long words; long-winded.
As In: â€œThis list is quite sesquipedalian.â€
Definition: (adjective) made, consisting of, or resembling wood; woody.
As In: â€œMr. Harrelsonâ€™s name may be Woody, but Keanu Reaves is the one whoâ€™s ligneous.â€
Definition: (adjective) funnel-shaped.
As In: â€œâ€˜Hey, look out for that infundibuliform cloud!â€™ he said, before his whole town was wiped out by the tornado because they didnâ€™t understand what he meant.â€
Definition: (adjective) cheap, showy, or counterfeit.
As In: â€œLady Gaga is hardly original. She is just a more obnoxious Brummagem understudy for Madonna.â€
Definition: (adjective) temporarily deranged or feebleminded.
As In: â€œHey, remember that time Tom Cruise went doolally on Oprahâ€™s couch?â€
Definition: (noun)  the restless tossing of the body in illness.  The twitching of a limb or muscle.
As In: â€œSomeone call an ambulance! This woman is experiencing severe jactitation! Oh, wait, no, sheâ€™s just dancing.â€
Definition: (noun) an aperture through which a cask can be filled or emptied.
As In: â€œIâ€™m trying to empty my cask, but the bunghole seems to be blocked.â€
Definition: (adjective) adapted for sucking.
As In: â€œDonâ€™t get me wrong, I love the Cubbies, but they havenâ€™t won the World Series since 1908. How did they get so suctorial?â€
Definition: (noun) a figure of speech in which a word applies to two others in different senses or to two others of which it semantically suits only one.
As In: “Both how I’m living and my nose is large.” â€“Humpty Hump
Definition: (noun) a confused jumble or medley of things.
As In: â€œThe other day I heard a guy on NPR call Congress a â€˜calamitous gallimaufry.â€™ Man, what a sesquipedalian prick.â€
Definition: (noun)  power to endure or to persevere in an activity.  The ability to sit through or tolerate something boring.
As In: â€œMan, itâ€™s gonna take some serious sitzfleisch to get through this whole Tyler Perry movie.â€
Definition: (noun) the action or habit of estimating something as worthless.
As In: â€œEach year the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences unintentionally practices the art of floccinaucinihilipilification by holding the Grammy Awards.â€ Or, used as a verb: â€œMan, that guy who writes those lists for oddballdaily.com is such a jerkâ€”heâ€™s always floccinaucinihilipilificating things I happen to like.â€
Sources: The New Oxford American Dictionary, and here