As anyone who knows me will tell you, Iâ€™m a big marijuana guy. I mean, I never smoke it or ingest it in, say, brownie form, because that is illegal. But thinking about pot and how awesome it must be is one of my favorite pastimes. My favorite band is Phish. My favorite movie is the Cheech & Chong Classic Up In Smoke. My favorite time of dayâ€”well, I have two favorite times of dayâ€”4:20 A.M. and 4:20 P.M. My favorite day of the year is, of course, April 20. I could go on and on, but you get the gist.
Of course, given my fervent passion for the bud, Iâ€™m obviously pretty much an expert on water pipesâ€”more commonly known as bongs. I donâ€™t use them, you know; I just, like, collect them, and what not. Anyway, I was thinking the other day it would be a shame not to share my vast expertise with you, my millions of internet readers. So to that end I present to you this list of 15 really elaborate, totally amazing bongs. Enjoy.
15. Eric Doeringerâ€™s Untitled (Red and Yellow)
This bong is the first of 4 on this list by artist Eric Doeringer (yes, heâ€™s an actual artist). Now, maybe you think four bongs made by one guy is overkill, but wait till you see the other three. They are ridiculous.
â€¨14. Gas Mask Bong 2
I donâ€™t know if you could technically say the gas mask is part of the bong itself. So maybe we should just say this is an elaborate way of inhaling from a bong. Either way, this guy means business. Not very communitarian, though, and being an expert on marijuana and marijuana culture, I know that weed is best enjoyed in the company of friends.
13. 10 ft Bong
See, now this the kind of teamwork a good bong should inspire. Just look at all that camaraderie and goodwill! Then again, it appears these guys are Canadian (note the beer can), and therefore socialists. So of course theyâ€™d have a communal bong.
12. Illadelph Alienbong
Anyone who knows anything about grass knows Illadelph is one of the two or three best bong-makers on the planet. This insane alien bong is proof of that. However, Iâ€™m not sure you want to be staring a creepy one-eyed alien in the eye when the paranoia kicks in.
11. Glass Tornado Bong
I donâ€™t know if the shape of this bong would have any effect of the enjoyment of the weed, but it certainly looks cool. Definitely very elaborate, but probably pretty hard to clean.
10. Humongous Bulb Bong
I canâ€™t be totally sure, but it looks like this gentleman is using a heat gun (like the kind you would use to peel paint) to light â€œthe bowl.â€ Whatâ€™s â€œthe bowlâ€ you ask? Oh, silly me. I forget that not everyone is a bong expert like me. The bowl is just the part of the bong that holds the weed. Anyway, itâ€™s nice to see an older dude who didnâ€™t forget how to party.
9. The Is-It-Really-A-Bong Bong
With this one, Iâ€™m just assuming it is, in fact, a bong, since it popped up on Google when I searched for â€œreally sweet totally kick-ass bongs.â€ Itâ€™s hard to see the mechanics of this one, aside from what appears to be the bowl right there in front. (Thereâ€™s that bong lingo again. Are you sufficiently convince of my marijuana expertise?)
8. Gas Mask Bong
This is one intense bong. Itâ€™s downfall, like #15, is that it isnâ€™t conducive to sharing. Also, imagine your parents walking in and seeing you use this thing. Hello, military school.
7. Illadelph Quad Coil
Hereâ€™s another elaborate bong from Illadelph. This one is aptly named the Quad Coil. Instead of filtering the smoke through water, this ridiculous apparatus filters the smoke through liquid nitrogen (the stuff your high school science teacher used to freeze the banana before shattering it on the floor). Youâ€™re gonna have to seriously cut back on you weed budget for a while if you want to purchase this thing. It will cost you anywhere between $6,000 and $10,000.
6. Eric Doeringerâ€™s Untitled (Purple)
Hereâ€™s the first of three consecutive bongs from artist Eric Doeringer. Among his many artistic interest, Mr. Doeringer likes to make bongs that are not just a bongs. For example, this particular bong is also a fountain/sculpture.
5. Eric Doeringerâ€™s Untitled (Red)
This four-person Doeringer bong is a masterpiece, is it not? Each person has their own mouthpiece and personal 10â€ smoking unit. The personal units are connected the central unit, where the smoke travels through three separate water-filled tubes. Also, it comes with those sweet beanbag chairs.
4. Eric Doeringerâ€™s Untitled (Blue)
Hereâ€™s the last amazing bong from Mr. D. With this one, you use two hand levers at the back to control an automatic lighter and release the carb. Oops, there I go again with my expert bong lingo. The carb, or carburetor, pulls fresh air into the bong to push out any remaining pot smoke when youâ€™re all done tokin. You knowâ€”waste not, want not. Anyway, the point is, this crazy bong looks like some kind of amazing marijuana cannon.
3. Guitar Bong
Rock music and weed go together like spaghetti and meatballs. This elaborate bong really is a no-brainer.
2. MRI Bong
Finally the brainiac scientists over at Harvard come up with something that will benefit mankind: a bong that can be used while patients are getting an MRI. Yes, thatâ€™s right. These science guys wanted to study the effect of THC (the magic pot chemical) on the brain to better understand how awesome marijuana is. The only problem was, you have to hold really still when getting an MRI, and you canâ€™t have any material that will interact with the giant magnet thatâ€™s scanning your brain. So they came up with thisâ€”a bong that keeps smoke away from the expensive MRI machine and feeds it to the patient through tubing connected to a ceramic mask.
1. Star Wars Boba Fett Bong
That MRI bong was awesome, but how could a glass bong shaped like Boba Fettâ€™s helmet not be #1 on this list?